Holding On When It's Time To Move On

Are you caught in a hot and cold relationship where one day it is ecstasy and the next day agony? Do you stay in a tumultuous or toxic relationship as your biological clock ticks away your youth? Are you wasting your time on someone who does not notice or is simply not worthy of what you have to offer? Then you’re not alone. The statistics are astronomical regarding those who stay in unhealthy or unsatisfying relationships. The reasons are many from personal insecurities to fear but in many cases it is simply because of false hope. They think in terms of when things were good and believe they can somehow recapture what has long been lost, most of the time in vain.

Relationships will always have their ups and downs but when the love is gone there is little if anything that can save it and why would you want to? We attract what we are at any given time in our lives and since growth and change are a constant in most human beings, relationships too will often shift accordingly. There are partners who change and grow with each other and in those cases, they are able to maintain a long term partnership. There are also karmic relationships which when the karma is cleared or resolved, the relationship will fall away. The key is understanding what kind of relationship you have attracted and entered and gauge the well-being of the relationship by how well it flows and how well you are adjusting to each other as you grow and change.

The number one killer to any relationship is usually financial stress but the second slayer is insecurity and mistrust. Both often lead to resentments, anger and a loss of respect for each other and when that is gone, the love is sure to follow. I am always baffled by those couples who need to see a counselor before they are ever married, a real red flag because if it is already on rocks before the impending nuptials it is almost certain to fail afterward.

The focus should be whether you are happy or not. Does your lover respect you? Does your lover do thoughtful things for you? Can you both sit in a room quietly and be completely content with non-activity? Does your partner contribute equally to the health of the relationship? Do you both have good conflict resolution skills and if not are you at least trying to learn how to fight in a healthy way, without name calling? Name calling is the number one way to kill the love since most cannot forget the names they have been called during a heated battle. Remember this; once it is out of your mouth you simply cannot take it back. You should also consider if your past wounds are interfering with your present day relationship. Are you projecting old hurts and wounds onto an unsuspecting and not guilty mate? And do you realize that the more you accuse anyone of something they are not doing, the more likely you will attract and create that very thing. Relationships are complicated enough without you dredging up your last one and the pain it caused you.

But are you staying long after the date on your relationship has expired? If you have to ask yourself the question, chances are you should move on and open your heart to a new relationship which fits where you are in your life and in your heart. By prolonging the ending of an unhealthy relationship you are cheating yourself out of the one which waits for you. Until you open your heart to the new possibilities and close the door on the past, you will never attract the great love of your life.

-Best Wishes In Your Relationship Journey

Bella