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Does My Lover Have Another Lover?

It’s the wee hours of the morning and the phone rings. The voice on the other end of the line is stressed. Sometimes there is anger, sometimes sadness. The question is the same: Is my lover cheating on me? Is there another person who is stealing my lover from me?

Each time this is asked, the guides I channel have the same response: We will not answer that question because it will not contribute to your highest good, healing, and inspiration. After getting this same question and answer several times, I was feeling frustrated. There had to be more I could offer. How can I get around this roadblock? The response from the guides was immediate:

We thought you’d never ask!

My guides have a sense of humor. They enjoy watching me trying to be human. They also understand humans cannot hear the answer to a question we are not ready to ask. When I finally asked, the answer was clear:

You are not asking the right question.

Well, that’s helpful, but what is the right question? Here is the wisdom of the guides.

Love hormones are wonderful. Who would not want to float in an ocean of love forever? Unfortunately, effortless floating is interrupted by life. Once the haze of love lifts, you must still go to work, cook, clean, and handle all the other chores and stresses related to being human. It may feel like love has deserted you. It is still there, it has evolved.

The real question is: Why has love changed?

Love must change in order to survive. When you see a couple that has been together for over 50 years, know their love has changed and evolved many hundreds of times. It has not been easy or without challenges. They have discovered a path that is right for them. When love changes, a feeling of being robbed of something precious creates the desire to find the thief.

Who is stealing my lover from me?

Imagine you believe your lover is cheating. You confront the issue head-on. How does your lover feel? If he or she is not seeing another person, they will be offended by the lack of trust. This could damage the relationship to the point of ending it right there. If they are seeing another person, this will also bring the relationship to an end. Has this path restored love?

When love changes, the fear of losing love competes with the fear of knowing it might already be gone. The “thief” (real or imagined) is a symptom of deeper issues. If the relationship is strong enough to continue, it’s safe to communicate and explore how to evolve and strengthen your bonds. If the relationship is not strong enough to evolve, decide how you want it to end. Acknowledge the issues early and release each other with love. Or ignore the issues, hang on until the bitter end, and eventually leave in anger.

The path is yours. The choice is yours. We wish you love.

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